Chapter 3 - 6

“Thank you all for coming today,” Archer said, standing behind a podium in front of a small group of business executives, their suits damp with sweat as they entered their fifth hour of conferences, their attitudes dull from the constant assertions of business sense and blue-sky optimism. “My name is Reginald Archer, and today I’ll introduce you to the world of revolutionary ingenuity.”

Archer really didn’t know anything about business, or at least not at the executive level. Anything from his previous life that might have been relevant to his 25-minute presentation has long since been replaced with knowledge about tricks and tips into sneaking into conferences and getting paid to give a 25-minute presentation about, essentially, nothing.

“Now, as you all know, the economy is making business difficult, making people worrisome.” Archer was assuming this. He hadn’t actually checked a paper beforehand, but he was always under the impression that the economy was in terrible shape. The affirming and aspirated nods from the audience only verified it, but he wasn’t concerned. They would leave this room without any clue what had been said or why.

“That’s why you need to look around your company and discover what resources you have under your control. You need to utilize these resources with vigor. It’s up to you to get your company back in the right direction! Your employees are counting on you.”

Archer knew that all he was doing was throwing out random platitudes, but he didn’t care. He was just there to get paid, and frankly, it was fun to be the center of attention.